The decision

I've always said that the wrong job can be poisonous.

You get heart palpitations just thinking about going in, migraines, diarrhea and just outright depression. But at what point do you call it quits? What sign do u wait on? The consensus is to bite the bullet and push through until something better comes along....possibly the most annoying thing i've ever heard.

I'm losing my mind really. Dont mind me over here.

Definitely gonna focus on developing my skills and amp up my services. My sistren says every day that working for people will get u nowhere, maybe it's time I focus on me and stop making myself sick working for people.

The Break Up

A misunderstanding.

A selfish act.

Lies.

Cheating.

Distance.

Time.

Space.

Whatever it was that caused you and someone you love to call it quits. Shit happened and you broke up.

Girls cry, we get mad, we play tough, cry again, maybe call over an old f*ck buddy, tweet through it, f*ck through it, cry, eat ice cream and convince ourselves that it will work out.

Men act tough, shrug their shoulders....meh....whatevz. After 3 weeks they're glued to a rum bar and reliving all the good days with a sistren....cus of course, they cant have that kinda talk with the niggas. They f*ck through it, tweet hardcore shit. Get their nob slobbed by their back-up bitch (They all have one). Drink some more ...at home this time, grow a beard, tweet. They're ok (not). 

There's something quite.....painful...about seeing someone you know, inside and out, and not being able to speak to them. When you so happen to be around them and they laugh about something someone said to them and it hits you....you haven't heard that laugh in months. They walk pass you and their scent body slams you into the lockers of memories you carefully stowed away in the dungeons of your brain and heart. All you can do is turn your head and focus real hard on that....that...tile in front of you. Gorgeous tile.


You start wondering exactly how long this period of healing and self love and getthef*ckoveritalready is supposed to last. You dont wanna be friends, you cant be friends. Impossible.

You happen upon them on  lunch date. No big deal. Just flip over their table and dance in their food and walk out right? F*ck yea. You're not jealous, you're healing. 

*drops on the floor and cries like smeagol*

Scroll through your phone book and linger on their name for a few seconds...hmmm.... *turns phone in hands*... yes... you're gonna call and try to talk it out. Nahh...save yourself the embarrassment.....and credit.

Tweet through it.

You live your life, work, home, work, home, rinse and repeat...sprinkled with a night out, a few dates, meaningless sex. After a while that tugging in your heart either goes away or learns to shut the hell up ( i think)

There's love....then there's LOVE....then there's JEZAS CRISE MI GET TIE A WAH DIS GAD?!

After 2 or 3 .....shit...or more years....you find someone and you're happy. You settle down and you start thinking about marriage...

What if, the love you have for your current boo...isnt as strong as what you had/have for your ex? What do you do? Have you wondered that? if you'll find this kind of deep, passionate, wonderful love again?

......

Freedom over Respect?

Have you ever wondered if us women are to blamed for the behaviour of men these days?

Did we create the demons we have to deal with?

Could it go as far back as fighting for rights to vote, to work in certain industries and aspire to be in institutions that are branded as "Men Only". Could it be because we have for so many years fought to be equals, that now men really are treating US just as how they would treat each other?

The sexual polarities have been completely switched, women are taking charge, taking charge of their bodies, speech, opinions and freedom overall. But it seems with this freedom comes the abrasive treatment of the "Modern Gentleman". The "Modern Gentleman" who, doesnt particularly open doors or give you his seat on a bus or hell....even try to find a job.

Is it now that we women, should now be the ones to...offer a shoulder to cry on, pay the bills or rent, stand 2 hours on a bus ride, have a 3 day tracin war on twitter with a "Modern Gentleman"? 

When was the last time a man walked around the car, and open your door first? When was the last time a man held your hand as you walked up/down some steps? When was the last time a man placed his hand gently on your lower back while he allows you to enter a room first?

When was the last time a man made a sacrifice, for your comfort?

Am i wrong, to secretly want to be in a time where...men were strong and manly, a silent force that was revered and respected...while women were delicate flowers to be fawned over and treated with the utmost care?

Is it because with our new found freedom we've become crass, pushy and self-righteous? Are we forcing our strong men to become prissy prancing pussies?

Are we soul sucking dementors hovering over our would-be kings and relieving them of their strengths to build up ourselves?


Maybe we should start letting men be men.


[Disclaimer: This clearly.....clearly...doesnt apply to every man]