Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Single, 30 and Not Panicking

Guy: "I'm sure you and hubby have plans."
Me: "No hubby, I'm single"
Guy: "So how old are you?"
Me: "30"
Guy: "And you're single? Wow, you not worried?"
Me: "Worried about what?"
Guy: "Cus you up there now, you old."

My first thought was how did I end up having such a conversation with a juvenile moron. For a hot second I kinda felt bad. Eventually I smiled and walked away as that was the legal thing to do when I mentally explored my options.

About 2-3 years ago I actually DID feel like my time was running out, I felt gypped because of relationships I had been in with dishonest men, I saw all my high school classmates start their own families, I wanted to know where was MY "Happily Ever After". But now... now I'm in a state of  absolute comfort with my age and my status, I'm in no rush to change that, nor do I want to feel bad for it.

Society really has us believing that by my age you should "have 2 yute" whether you're a man or a woman, it's this constant pressure. Now that you're "up there" in age you need either breed or breed sumtn. I have this fear of being a single mother, no lie. I respect single moms cus that ish is HARD and I do not, in anyway, want to dive into that life. I don't have a man/partner/husband so my womb is empty and will remain that way until I have found someone that is fully committed to me.

Let me just go ahead and say it, I'd rather be married before I have kids.

Yes yes yes I know marriage doesn't end problems or prevent the possibilities of problems arising, but EYE would just rather be married first. Maybe when i'm 37 I'll reconsider this...or not, who knows.

But right now, August (damn near December) 2016, I am not worried, not concerned, not actively dating. Aside from those rare moments of weakness, I enjoy my empty bed and having full control over the remotes and to be quite honest, I'm just not ready. I thought I was, even tried going out with guys earlier this year but I quickly realised I needed some me time, some more healing time and some work-on-yourself time.

Sometimes I see women in their 40s who are unmarried and I want to question them, find out their story, since I have my own and see what we may have in common. There are so many women out there who have had one heartbreak too many or just had experiences they never fully recovered from and have made the decision to be alone or are just too afraid to try once more.

Not every man or woman will have children or get married. Your fate and destiny won't be like any other person's, don't let anyone tease or pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. I know a guy who is engaged right now and kicking himself about it. It's just not worth the stress.

There's no need to sit there and feel as if something is wrong with you why you haven't been chosen yet, or found the one. Just live your life, have fun, do great, try new things, travel more. You never know what's waiting just around the river bend.



  1. lol @ breed or breed something. interesting read none the less

  2. Wow! Just read my whole life why don't you? Very good read.

  3. I could not have said this any better especially the part about being married. Children need both parents and they need structure. Marriage us a basis for that. If I not doing it right I am not doing it at all. Hats off to the single parents out there who do it everyday. But a nuh suh mi want it.

  4. I believe i needed to read this. Thank you.