Let me explain...
Last night i was at a local bar/lounge having fun, i sat most of the night because my heels were killing me. Now and then i'd get up and dance then sit back down. This guy, who was there with his friends, came over to me and said something that i can't recall...but while he was talking, his hand was on my thigh. I quickly answered his question and turned my head so that he would go away. A few minutes later he came back and immediately rested his hand on my thigh again, this time I looked down at his hand, and removed it. He then turned to his friend and said "Come mek we leff yahso yaah man cah it comeen like a bere lesbian in yah!"
Now.....some of you know that i listen to Mantras to focus my energy and such. I literally had to close my eyes at that bar and centre myself. At first I tried "1 Potato 2 potato 3 potato..." Then i just went straight into a Mantra. Cus I was SO close to snatching him by his goddamn neck. My entire night was ruined, my bredrin who I was there with just couldn't understand why I was still angry because to him, what they guy said was rude yes, but shouldn't rest so heavily on my mind. Basically, to him, it was not that serious.
But it was. And I am tired of it.
WHY is it that Jamaican men think that no one should ever turn them down? WHY do they think they can say, do anything to you and you should just take it because you are woman and shouldn't complain cus "Big man a look you"? WHO is training these fools? Which Academy of the Daft did these assholes attend?
I wonder sometimes if men understand how much of a task it is just to run errands on a day to day basis. I could wear a turtle neck and straight legged pants with sneakers, I'd STILL be subject to some of the most vile, disrespectful comments you can imagine. Jamaican women are emotionally, physically, sexually harassed every single day by strangers and so called friends. And i'll get to the friends part soon.
"Baby how u pu**y so fat?"
"Babes yuh bress dem jus a jiggle so mek mi suck pon dem nuh?"
"Bwoy baby yuh front jus buff up inna yuh pants deh doh.."
"Girl...if i eva hold yuh today i put a piece a f*ck pon you, u see"
......And then you have the men who will grab onto you. And if you flash your hand away or reprimand them..
"Aye gyal guh suck uself!"
"Yuh hype eeh...u want a man fix yuh bizniz"
The other day a man grabbed at me and i said "Don't f*ckin touch me"..his friend snapped back with "Ay gyal yuh a cuss badwud afta man like u nuh know say u will get beat up in yah!". "In yah" being the Papine taxi stand. Yea? Yea. A man legit threatened to BEAT me, in public, because i cursed at a man who was grabbing at me.
One of the biggest disappointments are the male friends, the "bredrins" who you've know for years and years, that suddenly feel it's ok so squeeze your ass or breast when they're greeting you. Then when you reprimand them, they respond with "Is wahpm...yuh man deh yah?". Listen....you just violated me and our friendship...and your response to me telling you to stop is to ask if my man is here? AS IF I don't have rights to defend my body. AS IF I should let you do whatthefuckever you want until a man has claimed me. I'd love to see you sit and watch this happen to your daughters. Really.
Let's go by your "Only if you're taken should i not touch you" logic....
Suppose I DID have a man and you didn't know, and he was standing nearby and saw you do that? What would you say? "Sorry bossy mi neva know say u did deh yah.."?? If i'm in a room full of people and i'm sitting beside a guy who I've just began dating, you come in and hug me then squeeze my breast, because you THINK you can...this guy has quite possibly, lost ALL respect for me. Cus if a guy can touch on me as he pleases, why should he claim me? If i was a guy and saw that, that chick could just lose my number because clearly this is something that happens ALLLLL the time.
What is it about the Jamaican male ego that makes them act and think this way? I can wear whatever I want in the U.S. without feeling like meat. Jamaican women are tired, i'm tired...and on the verge of violence.
If I ever get a taser or pepper spray, dog nyam unnu supper. Friend or stranger.
When men use the gentleman approach women friendzone them
ReplyDeletewhen men use the direct approach women say they are thirsty or give them forward.
Stop bashing Jamaican men and bash your jamaican sisters who have lost respect for themselves so much so that their legs open easier than the front doors at megamart.
If these guys are your friends and think it is ok to touch you inappropriately then clearly you are sending the wrong message to them by your actions. I dont go around feeling up women because i respect them and i'm a nice guy but if i have a christian female friend i am not going to try and feel her up even if she is attractive but if i have a "loosas" friend then i would be more inclined to cop a feel.
You have raised some valid points because there are problems on both sides of the fence with men and women and their interactions.....But from my personal experience with you, you too hype still
So Christian women aren't loose? LOL...You using what a woman is wearing to justify touching her is the SAME excuse men use to justify rape. If I don't consent to you touching me it IS a violation. IN OTHER WORDS: IF I don't say YES then it is A VIOLATION. It does not matter what I'm wearing, my body is still my own and what of it I choose to show or not is MY choice. You approaching me inappropriately and me defending myself is MY right. I bet you can't use this same argument to justify a gay man approaching a straight guy? Objectifying your body the same way a man does to a woman..hmm...FURTHERMORE your argument falls FLAT, because there are SOOOO many women who are covered head to toe (Muslm women) and are still harassed on a daily basis. YOU "men" need to reevaluate yourself and your thought process, respect is just the MINIMUM.
DeleteI hope when dem rape yuh sister when she wears short clothing and is considered to be a loosas u don't have a problem with it.
DeleteThe fact that you called yourself a "nice guy" confirms that you are a spineless bitch of a man.
DeleteThese first two Anons are talking out their asses. Their argument that women only get violated when they send a certain signal is simply asinine. Regardless of the signal you perceive is being sent, you have no claim to someone else's body to think it is fine to act as you wish. If it's not consensual then it's assault, and I believe a person has the right to defend themselves from assault.
DeleteI reiterate this lad's comments... ESPECIALLY his last statement... You are too HYPE... and you do send the wrong signals to your quote and quote guy friends.... with that said I hope you'll do some introspection and try a dif Mantra cause that one def not working for you.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of harassment is prominent in the US though. Especially for African American women. There are countless blog posts and essays and vlogs about it. It is also a "thing" for white men to come here and invade our space because it is more "acceptable" here, since we won't sue their asses for this violation.
ReplyDeleteAnd finally, the women in countries where they are covered up get violated just s much, if not more than those of us who are "more liberated".
All I can say is patriarchy- Kill it.
fuck them two anons who think it's ok to defend this kind of fuckery.
ReplyDeleteOnly a juvenile and entitled kind of mind set can make blaming you as the victim OK.
Only thing I'd say is that this is way more than just Jamaican and burkas do the least to curb this kind of thing (Rape is still a thing in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia)
I must sympathize with you. I do acknowledge the plight of women in general who are subjected to this type of treatment. As I said in a blog post of mine, I was once of the view of the two anonymous commentators, until the tables were turned on a few friends of mine and some "guys" in New Kingston started the same cat calls at them. That caused introspection on my part. What if we men were subjected to the same harassment we allow to happen to our women and keep turning a blind eye to it. I for one don't go around feeling on women, acquaintance or friend and its full time we as a people seek to address these issues. it might be one of the many things holding back our nation in general. And you're right. Mek a man try do dat wid me daughter. When gunshot done buss dem can rich offa scrap metal.
ReplyDeleteSeriously?! The first two 'ANONS' CLEARLY have some issues that they need to sort out. Maybe THEY need to do some introspection as one put it. It does not matter whether or not the author is "HYPE", what she said is true! Men should not feel entitled to touch a woman any way they please, whether she is a 'Christian' or a 'loosaz'! It's these types of arguments that make some men feel like rape is ok! like the victim was asking for it because her skirt was short or her top was tight! Those comments made me sick to my stomach! What's even worse is that it's these same kind of one track minded ppl that walk around and boast how educated and free they are. SICKENING!! A woman's body is hers and hers alone and just because she may seem to invite your touches and disgusting advances, that may not be the case. WISE UP and stop the crap. The comments made my skin crawl and if I didnt know before, I know now. We live in a disgusting society. YOU men are the problem. Women should be able to walk without feeling as if u r stripping us with your eyes! And what's worst, there are many more men like those walking around with their egos the size of God knows what and their morality non-existent. I'm disgusted.
ReplyDeleteMen are the problem & women are too, stop blaming it all on one party, & for ur information, looking on someone as if u're stripping them is not illegal, men do it & women do it too, so deal with it
DeleteHype or not, she has all rights to defend her body if a man attempts to grab her in anyway. I have had this problem, the disgusting things men say to me and because other women put up with it I'm called 'hype' because I lash out at them. The other day I was walking in hwt and a man told me that he wanted to fuck me on the bank steps, how can I feel good about that? By the way I was wearing the longest maxi dress that I owned at the time. When I ignored him he called me a bitch and asked me if I thought I was better than him. This might be okay with some females but I hate these bastards who think it's perfectly normal to treat people's daughters, wives, mothers and sisters like this.
ReplyDeleteThose two anonymous xomments are the reason we're a fucked up society. Nobody has respect for the body, the person, all you see is their sexual organ...hence the christian vs loosaz dilemma. I agree with Nas that this is a cross to bear for African-Ameican women as well. And why do we have to deal with this burden? Because some asshole out there is telling these fools that women are property... things to be had, acquired, dominated. This has got to stop. Hope those two persons don't ever reproduce.
ReplyDeleteWOMEN DON'T NEED BURKAS! MEN NEED FUCKING SELF RESTRAINT! A woman should be able to walk around AS NAKED AS SHE WANTS without men thinking it's their right to fondle her! Women are NOT SEX OBJECTS NOR ARE THEY MEN'S PROPERTIES.
ReplyDeleteChunchi? CONTINUE HYPE!
Christian or not, single or not, women should be respected and treated as such. Those two anons have a lot to learn (or a lot of healing to do since rejection weighs on them like Roger Clark's existence). Unless the man and woman are in a r/ship that gives such privileges to touch or whatever else...don't be inappropriate about it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, a woman has the right to say no...just as men do. Ego be damned.
Anyway, have a good one Chunchi, and happy tasing.
--
Toph
I concur with Rochelle Smith's statement. Anon 1 U are a fucking idiot even if a woman skin out har pussy infronta u it nuh gi u the right fi touch har. Some men act like they were raised by wolves dem nahve no home training no breeding no nutn&think they are God's gift to women so they can do as they please when really dem a nutn but bloodclaat crosses.
ReplyDeleteWhen day a woman goin acid some a unuh raas unuh too prime&disrespectful. Learn to be a fucking man&stop disrespecting women.
Anonymous 1 & 2, are very clear examples of why we should try our darndest not to make mistakes whilst procreating, as well as what we as mothers and fathers of the earth teach our sons.
ReplyDeleteThat they have hidden behind anonymity proves their cowardliness, and they KNOW that what they are saying is misogynistic in its truest form. HOWEVER, it is their absolute right to HIDE behind anonymity...just as much as I will reiterate [some] what right a woman and a man has.
Anon 1 - You've clearly subscribed to the very patriarchal society in which you live, which is highly charged and driven by religion and labels. You say “When men use the gentleman approach women friendzone them”. Yes? And? It is our absolute RIGHT to NOT be interested in you nor your advances….just as much as it is your right to “check” or NOT “check” a girl if she’s not “hot enough” for you. However you choose to engage a woman’s attention, I can tell you, that NEVER, in the history of woman-kind, has a man groped a woman, and she has responded “OH MY GOD YES!!! I WAN’T TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!”
That you are illiterate enough to say “ i have a christian female friend i am not going to try and feel her up even if she is attractive but if i have a "loosas" friend then i would be more inclined to cop a feel.”; is truly astounding. Because let me tell you, those VERY principles to which those Christian women / men subscribe (and manipulate to their liking when they FEEL like)…are the same principles they DO NOT practice daily. Countless friends of mine are devout Christians, merrily having sex with their boyfriend, or many men or even have had a child out of wedlock. That you even insinuate that if she is not Christian, she’s a “loosas”, kind of makes me think that even trying to address you is a lost cause.
Just as some men choose to sleep with countless women and not get a reputation, NOR does it warrant countless women grabbing their dick in public, or constant hounding “because dem look like dem can fuck” or are “loosas” according to your definition; is the SAME way women can and WILL choose to conduct themselves, without this ridiculous tag or label that you’ve attached, purely based on whether they frequently have sex.
Anon 1 & 2 say that she’s “too hype”….YES? AND? How does this warrant unwanted sexual advances ALL the time? Or worse still, being groped and touched with EVERY indication that SHE IS NOT INTERESTED?! When men like yourself go around with your egos, thinking it is your god given right NOT to be turned down by a woman, rather than simply accepting, I’m just not her type, we have to put up with this kind of vile behaviour on a daily basis.
I sincerely hope that neither of you came into being via a mother or father, and just somehow miraculously turned up on earth as a seed. I also hope too, that WHEN (because believe me it will if even once) this happens to your mother, sister or daughter (god forbid you breed another being and therefore have the privilege to have one); AND they tell you that they did nothing to warrant such an advance; that your sanctimonious soul will sit right with what you have written.
I am quite angry at myself, for even bothering to address any of these two idiots. By the way Anon 2, since we’re being pedantic and ridiculous, it’s “quote UNQUOTE” or “open quotation, close quotation”…but, I wouldn’t expect you to know that, as you demonstrate little to no sense.
I await your reply….because, just like you IGNORING a woman’s right to NOT be groped, I will ignore your (and what will always be) inadequate response.
**One
ReplyDeleteOkay Anon 1+2. Supposed a man did the same thing to your mother; daughter; sister; close female friend. What would you do? Tell dem seh dem too hype? This isn't the 15th Century where a woman's only role is to cook, clean and bear children. Big big 2013 and you think that copping a feel and forcing a woman to do your bidding is okay. If I'm hype for knowing when I don't want a random dude telling me how him wah "fuck me til I bawl fi mi modda" then I'ma be they hypest woman out there. If me n you doh deh, you never yet lie down in the same bed n I not attracted to you in any way; YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH ME W/O MY CONSENT.
ReplyDeleteGwaan "hype" yaah Chunchi. True you smarter than them why dem gwaan so disgusting.
Panda
Whether loosaz are not! The loosaz still has to give you permission to touch her. WTF that "loosaz logic" is bullshit. Because if she whoring it's her choice to be so and she has to give you permission to touch her whether it be one man or even more.
ReplyDeleteSo if this was twitter I would jus RFT this cuz u have hit d nail right on the head. But some women are at fault for the treatment that other women get from men as a result of their actions and so some of us fall victim to these ridiculous and immoral men. Women no longer respect themself and their bodies and this causes men to further treat us as if we are subjected to their fuckry without lashing out.
ReplyDeleteBut its on a man/gentleman/boy/whatever the fuck these men refer to themselves as to draw a fucking line and know when to stop. I want a rass knife cuz some a dem aguh get fucked if necessary.
And this nigga talkin abt friend zoning n direct approach shit look here women choose to friend zone men for different reason and some of unu should be honoured to be friend zoned. The one's that are normally friend zoned are the ones that women value in their life and don't want to lose as opposed to getting in a relationship n then it don't work out n that's where it stops.
N with the direct approach you speak of some of unu men nah nuh fuckin approach. Unu don't think before unu speak or act. But oh women should jus fall @ ur feet because your the great one with a cocky. Unu can fuck off with that.
If she reacts aggressively, then guess what...she might get a black eye. Just say "don't do that" and walk away. Then some of you walking around looking all slutty and then want us men to treat you like queens. Walk like an empress everywhere you go and men won't treat you that way.
ReplyDeleteOn the guy friends thing: some of you take pleasure in leading men on and then call him friend. You know the man not interested in pure friendship but you want to feel like you cute.
So clearly all women carry themselves like sluts then. news flash asshat IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT WE DRESS LIKE. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW WE CARRY OURSELVES. In high school i was in my school uniform with my uncle walking right behind me & that STILL didn't stop disgusting assholes from calling out the most vile comments ever to a 13 yr old. I was not a slut. My uniform was in no way form fitting. I didn't know jack shit about sex much less how to carry myself in a way that implied that I did. But clearly what myself and many others on this blog have been saying doesn't matter because all women are sluts and we all deserve to be called to like we're sub standard beings.
DeleteNormally I'm all for gay rights and I don't support the vulgar ones who feel the need to lash out at society, but just this once I actually WISH one of the more outrageous ones would approach you how some of you guys try to approach us, because clearly the only way you'd get what we have to deal with is when the last person you'd ever want anywhere near your ass tried to get in your pants.
ps. NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Stop acting like your female friend is begging for rape just because she doesn't feel like letting you get it wet. Just because some of us feel the need to act stupid does not entitle you to treating the whole lot of us like we're all viciously leading you on.
Deleteahhhhm yute that black eye thing luuu still.....NEVER you hit a woman.....NEVERRRRR .....If any of my female friends tell me that a man hit them or physically abuse them, trust me God couldn't save him from my wrath. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned well the Devil no have ntn pon me.
Deleteyou're repugnant and a coward, "Anonymous"
DeleteThese anonymous animals posing as "men"...smh.
ReplyDeleteIt is MY body and just because your EGO got bruised when I didn't respond to your vile catcall or I told you about your parts when you touched me without my permission I'm hype/a loosas and you're going to threaten me with violence?
Your mothers should have strangled you with your umbilical cords at birth to rass.
You animals won't learn until something similar happens to you or a woman enforces her right to her body one day and fucks you up royally. We can only pray both happen.
These fuckheads. Bout loosaz and friendzone? Man a call after mi from mi a 10 years old a wear Pickney clothes and school uniform. I've been followed on the road while I walking with my mother because they needed to comment on my breasts. Guys I call friends talk loudly about my body claiming it is a compliment.
ReplyDeleteIt's embarrassing and it made someone like me feel dirty and like I needed to cover up for years and it never stopped them. Not even for a minute. So gwaan chat bout both sides and woman bring it pon demself. Men all around the wworld need to be taught that every woman is not automatically subject to their whims and fancies and to fuck off when mi tek dem Seh mi nuh bumboclaat want dem
Stay hype yaw chunchi
My heart goes out to you and to all my sistren in Jamaica who are suffering in this way. I am much older than you and thank God I just get called "Mummy" these days which is fine. But I do recall when I was much younger enduring some very painful and humiliating experiences. I wish I knew what the answer was. There is really no correct response. What happens if you just laugh in their face? I would certainly tell them to fuck off but that could make matters much worse. What RIGHT do they think they have to do this? I don't remember this ever being a problem when I was in the UK, except with workers on construction sites - and if you laughed at them they never insulted you back, so it was easy to handle it. I think it is a way of exercising some kind of power over a woman. The patriarchy sucks.
ReplyDeleteyou are right. And I'm sure I've been guilty of this at some point myself whether consciously or unconsciously, physically or even suggestively thinking that someone should be interested in me because of one bad reason or another. All I can do is openly apologize to all women, Jamaican or otherwise and caution, instruct and advise a generation of young men that will come behind me. The behaviour is unacceptable and nears misogamy. Again... I/we are sorry... and ask our Jamaican women to never stop correcting us, don't allow us to think it is okay - every woman needs to react because for some may believe silence is anything but shock, insult and dismay.
ReplyDeleteWhy do i feel like it was no one other than Chunchi herself who wrote the first anonymous comment. Unu get trick.
ReplyDelete(1) Men react as the nightclub dude did, because they are pathetically insecure insects desperately seeking to distract themselves from depressing self-awareness, using trumped-up angry insults.
ReplyDelete(2) The "friendzone" is a sexist myth that is disrespectful to both genders.
(3) Rape culture is real.
That is all.
a.
First of all those men were pigs, however it does not hurt that most of you girls now dress like harlots. So you attract pigs. If he can say that ur something buff, chances are u ave on something that is explicitly printing ur body parts. This is not an excuse for men to behave like , as provocative dressing is not a rape invitation but why provoke?
ReplyDelete