Single, 30 and Not Panicking

Guy: "I'm sure you and hubby have plans."
Me: "No hubby, I'm single"
Guy: "So how old are you?"
Me: "30"
Guy: "And you're single? Wow, you not worried?"
Me: "Worried about what?"
Guy: "Cus you up there now, you old."



My first thought was how did I end up having such a conversation with a juvenile moron. For a hot second I kinda felt bad. Eventually I smiled and walked away as that was the legal thing to do when I mentally explored my options.

About 2-3 years ago I actually DID feel like my time was running out, I felt gypped because of relationships I had been in with dishonest men, I saw all my high school classmates start their own families, I wanted to know where was MY "Happily Ever After". But now... now I'm in a state of  absolute comfort with my age and my status, I'm in no rush to change that, nor do I want to feel bad for it.

Society really has us believing that by my age you should "have 2 yute" whether you're a man or a woman, it's this constant pressure. Now that you're "up there" in age you need either breed or breed sumtn. I have this fear of being a single mother, no lie. I respect single moms cus that ish is HARD and I do not, in anyway, want to dive into that life. I don't have a man/partner/husband so my womb is empty and will remain that way until I have found someone that is fully committed to me.

Let me just go ahead and say it, I'd rather be married before I have kids.




Yes yes yes I know marriage doesn't end problems or prevent the possibilities of problems arising, but EYE would just rather be married first. Maybe when i'm 37 I'll reconsider this...or not, who knows.

But right now, August (damn near December) 2016, I am not worried, not concerned, not actively dating. Aside from those rare moments of weakness, I enjoy my empty bed and having full control over the remotes and to be quite honest, I'm just not ready. I thought I was, even tried going out with guys earlier this year but I quickly realised I needed some me time, some more healing time and some work-on-yourself time.

Sometimes I see women in their 40s who are unmarried and I want to question them, find out their story, since I have my own and see what we may have in common. There are so many women out there who have had one heartbreak too many or just had experiences they never fully recovered from and have made the decision to be alone or are just too afraid to try once more.

Not every man or woman will have children or get married. Your fate and destiny won't be like any other person's, don't let anyone tease or pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. I know a guy who is engaged right now and kicking himself about it. It's just not worth the stress.

There's no need to sit there and feel as if something is wrong with you why you haven't been chosen yet, or found the one. Just live your life, have fun, do great, try new things, travel more. You never know what's waiting just around the river bend.



   

Those demons? I slayed them.

Hiya!

It's been 2 good and proper years since I've written a blog, and  5 years since I spoke on the demons that haunted me when I turned 25.

Well...they're dead. Bloop!





A LOT has changed in 5 years, there are fragments of the 2011 Chunchi left lingering around but my mindset, work ethic and attitude towards life has taken a complete 180.

I realised not everyone around you wanted to see you outgrow them.
I learnt to stop letting others influence my decisions.
I understood that you should surround yourself with those who stimulate your growth.
I found out it's actually pretty easy for your boyfriend to get married without your knowledge.

Girl.....



At some point,specifically at the end of 2011, I found a career path that worked for me, something I could teach myself, pick up pointers here and there and just develop over time. I built myself up, I focused on me and me alone, I started thinking differently, everything was a challenge for me, everything was a test I needed to pass. This must be where my fear of failure really kicked into overdrive.

I no longer feel like a bum because I don't have a degree, I have accomplished so much and made a name for myself without a degree. It feels kinda good to answer a call and be told "I've seen your work and I need you on my team" but the Universe has blessed me to the point where I now have to turn down these opportunities because I am SWAMPED.

Looking back now, I can see my very obvious mistakes but I'm glad i made them because it built character, made me more focused, and hungry to do more and be more. I'm grateful for the people who stuck around or popped up along the way to encourage me and cheer me on. Looking forward to another 5 year.

Xoxo ChunchiMina

P.S. I'm still gonna get the damn paper, even though, it's just an accessory at this point.